Warts

One of my favorite quotes is: “If you run into an asshole in the morning, you ran into an asshole. If you run into assholes all day, you're the asshole.” After a string of terrible exchanges with my family, I am beginning to wonder if I am the asshole.
My husband got on my case over something minor, which normally I would have barely arched an eyebrow over, but today I exploded in an f-bomb-laced tirade. Maybe because he also got on my case about something minor last night as well. Death by a thousand cuts. Spending time apart lets those cuts heal: talking to other people and enjoying experiences out of the house are like salves. By the time I encounter my husband again, I have forgotten the slight; but this constant togetherness is a constant reminder and every slight is an indelible tally-mark.
People talk about the potential Corona-Baby-Boom, but I am wondering if there will also be a Corona-Divorce-Boom. Does seeing someone so up close for so long, warts and all, lead to only seeing warts?
Hours after my invective, we were acting like everything is fine. We got Dunkin Donuts drive-thru and went to Sherwood Island for a few minutes. Sherwood Island is where my husband proposed to me, on bended knee and everything. Sitting there again together, I remembered it’s not all warts. I hope he did too.

Comments

  1. The Heat MiseretteApril 10, 2020 at 6:34 PM

    That asshole quote is so true.

    I think the wart seeing comes and goes, just like anxiety during this time.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Sad news

My stepmother, Renee, died a few days ago. She had late-stage Alzheimer’s and had been suffering in a nursing home for several years. Whether she died of COVID-19 or something else, I do not know. I met Renee when I was four years old, when she and my father were dating. They moved in together a year after that and got married when I was ten. Renee didn’t like the Cinderella connotation of being called stepmother, so instead she and my father came up with MamaHaha—the word for stepmother in Japanese. Renee taught me about birds, art, opera, ballet. She was always reading, painting, bird-watching or doing a crossword puzzle. I have no memories of her ever raising her voice or being irritated. She nicknamed me Daffodil when I was little, for my yellow blond hair. She used to pat my cheeks and kiss my forehead, and she always wanted to hold hands with me, even when I was an adult. She frequently mailed me postcards, cheering me on through tough times and offering me sage advice. She
Read more

More about dinner

I wish I could blame it on the pandemic, but my husband and I have been arguing about food for 17 years. ”What’s for dinner” is *the* fight of our marriage. He wants to not be involved at all, with any of it. He wants me to make something and serve it to him. Meanwhile, I’m rarely hungry, and I have this stupid idea that he should tell me what he wants so I can provide it. He says, “Just make what you want!” I say, “I’m not hungry! I don’t want anything! You’re the one who’s hungry!”  He grits his teeth, “Just make whatever!” I shout, “Tell me what you want and I’ll make it!” (For the sake of wordcount I’ve left out about a dozen f-bombs that would have peppered this conversation.) In the marriage-counseling world this fight is known as an impasse. We are both looking for the other person to fix it, and we are both resentful because we believe the other person could fix it if they wanted to, but they’re just being a jerk. Usually, when my husband says, “What’s
Read more

Less Anxious

While many people are experiencing heightened anxiety, I am experiencing less. For the foreseeable future, I no longer have to endure many of the situations that used to cause me stress: Turning left on busy roads; driving at night; driving in the rain;  going to Wal-Mart; crowds; making sure my son gets to his rehearsals and lessons on time; making sure I remember to pick up my son from those places; wondering when my husband will get home from work; being jealous that he spends more time with “work-wife” than he does with me; being alone too much, wondering what I’m supposed to be doing with my life; Huzzah! I don’t have to look for a job!            All of my general anxiety feelings--and the occasional terror-sweats, panting and heart palpitations--have vanished. I honestly don’t remember a time when I’ve been more relaxed. My husband’s quarantine hasn’t been *fun*, but aside from worrying about microbes and the banana supply, I have it pretty easy these days.            Now
Read more