Mother-in-law, part 2

              Today my husband came downstairs for the first time in twelve days. He stood in the dining room, looked around, completely bewildered, and said, “Juice?” I said, “On it. But you have to get out of here.” He ambled back upstairs. I think he’s losing his mind. If only he would stop coughing. Then I would at least let him watch TV with me in the living room. Someone he works with got tested and has been waiting NINE DAYS (and counting) for their results.

              Talked to MIL again. On our morning phone call, she said, “I’m going to Publix tomorrow. That’s the plan. But I am NOT going during senior hours! What a zoo! A line out the door! Plus, those people! They’re slow! And they drop things and can’t bend over to pick them up! They take forever! And they park their carts across the aisle and stand there and chat! No! Not for me! I’m going at the regular time!”

              I love how she says “those people” as if, at 80, she sees herself as a much younger girl. But she is still sashaying around more than she should. I try to politely suggest this and she says, “They’re telling seniors to stay home if they have a CONDITION. I don’t have a condition! I’m FINE.” And now it’s my turn to huff and sigh at her and say, “For godsakes!” I explain the severity. I explain the spread. I tell her just because the news says only 5 people in her county have it, that probably everybody has it, or will soon. I tell her she really has to stay home. She can’t be going to my dippy sister-in-law’s house, where they’re still hosting playdates and happy hours with countless children and neighbors and nobody washes anything. I said, “Please. Please. Please. This will make you sick. This can kill you.” She huffed, basically saying, “Not me. I’m a much younger girl.” I am beginning to understand why this whole thing has happened and will likely get worse.

               My son came in at that point and said, “Hi, Nana!” and she brightened immediately and said, “How’s my Zachy?” They spoke for a few minutes. She told him she found a store in Tampa that sells See’s Chocolates. She’s going to go over there, any day. I know it. I should preemptively send her another box full of coconut ones, just to keep her at home.